1
00:00:03,035 --> 00:00:05,116
Almost there.
You're doing great.
2
00:00:05,129 --> 00:00:09,107
(strained): Thanks for lifting my spirits.
Next time, try lifting the box.
3
00:00:09,936 --> 00:00:11,256
Please hurry.
4
00:00:11,276 --> 00:00:13,143
MRS. WOLOWITZ: I don't need
a treadmill!
5
00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:15,917
The doctor says you
need to get exercise!
6
00:00:15,943 --> 00:00:18,290
I get plenty of exercise!
7
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,741
Crushing my will to
live isn't exercise!
8
00:00:22,835 --> 00:00:24,882
If she isn't gonna use it,
then why are we doing this?
9
00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:30,451
She'll use it. All I need is to rig it
with a fishing pole and a HoneyBaked Ham.
10
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,153
All right. Now what?
11
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,866
We set it up in
Howie's old room.
12
00:00:34,886 --> 00:00:36,199
Do you know how
to set it up?
13
00:00:36,218 --> 00:00:39,838
Please, I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
I think I can handle...
14
00:00:39,844 --> 00:00:41,211
Ma, look out!
15
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:43,733
(Mrs. Wolowitz screams)
16
00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:47,326
I told you this thing
would kill me!
17
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:51,164
♪ Our whole universe was
in a hot, dense state ♪
18
00:00:51,183 --> 00:00:55,140
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
19
00:00:55,168 --> 00:00:56,244
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
20
00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:59,281
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
21
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,261
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
22
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:04,058
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
23
00:01:04,077 --> 00:01:06,147
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
24
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,190
♪ Bang! ♪
25
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,901
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x23 ♪
The Gorilla Dissolution
Original Air Date on May 8, 2014
26
00:01:09,922 --> 00:01:12,622
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
27
00:01:14,127 --> 00:01:17,391
So she's gonna be laid up
for at least six weeks.
28
00:01:17,404 --> 00:01:18,991
Poor Mrs. Wolowitz.
29
00:01:19,018 --> 00:01:20,998
Should we do
something for her?
30
00:01:21,018 --> 00:01:24,582
I know. Let's go see
the new Spider-Man movie.
31
00:01:25,963 --> 00:01:29,199
Sheldon, we're talking about your
friend's mother. She got hurt.
32
00:01:29,218 --> 00:01:32,893
I thought that subject had run
its course, so I changed it.
33
00:01:32,906 --> 00:01:35,402
It's called reading
the room, Amy.
34
00:01:36,903 --> 00:01:38,990
- Hi. - Hey, how were
things on the set?
35
00:01:39,003 --> 00:01:40,450
Uh, pretty good, actually.
36
00:01:40,470 --> 00:01:42,253
So the movie's not
as bad as you thought?
37
00:01:42,266 --> 00:01:45,312
Oh, no, it is, but I decided,
instead of complaining about it,
38
00:01:45,325 --> 00:01:47,387
I'm just gonna go in every
day and give it my all.
39
00:01:47,406 --> 00:01:48,767
- Good for you.
- Thanks.
40
00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:52,025
There's no reason why I shouldn't
be the best bisexual go-go dancer
41
00:01:52,038 --> 00:01:56,288
slowly transforming into a killer
gorilla anyone's ever seen.
42
00:01:57,457 --> 00:01:58,125
I don't know.
43
00:01:58,145 --> 00:02:02,532
The bisexual gorilla go-go dancer in
Schindler's List is tough to beat.
44
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,159
Ah, very good.
45
00:02:04,172 --> 00:02:07,200
Because a gorilla go-go dancer
of any sexual preference
46
00:02:07,213 --> 00:02:10,423
would be out of place in a
film about the Holocaust.
47
00:02:11,183 --> 00:02:14,436
It only gets funnier when
you explain it, Sheldon.
48
00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:16,478
(chuckling):
I know.
49
00:02:19,759 --> 00:02:20,494
(sighs)
50
00:02:20,519 --> 00:02:23,319
Okay, she's all settled
in the guest room.
51
00:02:23,332 --> 00:02:26,560
Maybe we should get one of those
machines to help her up the stairs.
52
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,553
You mean a forklift?
53
00:02:29,773 --> 00:02:33,073
- Howie... - I'm sorry. I just
can't deal with this right now.
54
00:02:33,079 --> 00:02:35,391
Taking care of your own mother?
How can you say that?
55
00:02:35,410 --> 00:02:38,105
Bernie, she's gonna be off her
feet for six to eight weeks.
56
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:42,510
Are you prepared to feed her, wash
her and take her to the toilet?
57
00:02:42,516 --> 00:02:45,645
- I would do it for my mother.
- Yeah, of course you would--
58
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:51,346
you're a loving person. I'm what
my people would call a putz.
59
00:02:52,825 --> 00:02:56,220
Look, I'm not crazy about the idea,
but what other choice do we have?
60
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,453
We get a nurse.
61
00:02:57,479 --> 00:02:59,402
Preferably someone from
a Third World country
62
00:02:59,415 --> 00:03:03,058
who's used to suffering
and unpleasant smells.
63
00:03:04,964 --> 00:03:09,061
You'd hire a total stranger to take care of
the woman who raised you? That's so cruel.
64
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:14,876
Not if we pay them well and let them
listen to the music of their homeland.
65
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:18,693
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
I need to tinkle!
66
00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:21,609
Sounds like a job
for a loving person.
67
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:26,586
Would you like me to play some Polish
music while you carry her to the toilet?
68
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,114
You are a putz.
69
00:03:31,463 --> 00:03:33,694
As advertised.
70
00:03:36,972 --> 00:03:38,499
Thanks for coming with me.
71
00:03:38,527 --> 00:03:41,680
Thanks for inviting me after
everyone else said no.
72
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,318
Aren't you gonna get
3-D glasses?
73
00:03:45,344 --> 00:03:46,949
I brought my own.
74
00:03:46,962 --> 00:03:50,637
No sense in risking
bridge-of-nose herpes.
75
00:03:52,193 --> 00:03:53,526
Is that a real thing?
76
00:03:53,532 --> 00:03:58,413
Well, until they invent nose
condoms, I'm not finding out.
77
00:03:59,998 --> 00:04:01,931
Emily! Hey!
78
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,581
Oh, hey, Raj.
79
00:04:03,593 --> 00:04:06,914
Uh, this is my friend, Sheldon.
Sheldon, this is Emily.
80
00:04:06,934 --> 00:04:10,138
Oh, yes, you're
the dermatologist.
81
00:04:10,156 --> 00:04:14,131
I went for a walk yesterday
without sunscreen.
82
00:04:14,665 --> 00:04:20,137
Do you see anything on my forehead
that I should be concerned about?
83
00:04:20,998 --> 00:04:24,731
Um, you know what? I better go.
My movie's about to start.
84
00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:26,963
- Are you here alone?
- No, not really.
85
00:04:26,982 --> 00:04:29,552
- What do you mean, "not really"?
- Hey, should we get our seats?
86
00:04:29,571 --> 00:04:33,389
Yeah. It was nice seeing you.
Um, I'll call you later.
87
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:34,970
Yeah, okay.
88
00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:40,267
That was awkward, right?
89
00:04:41,847 --> 00:04:43,080
Uh-huh.
90
00:04:43,093 --> 00:04:46,322
Is it because she's dating you but
was out with that other fellow?
91
00:04:46,342 --> 00:04:47,042
Yes.
92
00:04:47,061 --> 00:04:49,875
Good. I thought she saw
something on my forehead.
93
00:04:52,937 --> 00:04:55,024
And... action.
94
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,057
Please don't shut me out.
95
00:04:57,082 --> 00:05:00,350
Go away. Just go away.
96
00:05:01,606 --> 00:05:04,170
I swear, I will find a way
to turn you back.
97
00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:08,983
What gave you the right to mix my
DNA with that of a killer gorilla?
98
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,188
I was trying to
save your life.
99
00:05:12,201 --> 00:05:15,299
Life? What life? Look at me!
I'm a monster!
100
00:05:15,319 --> 00:05:19,207
And now I have blood on my
hands, or paws. I don't know.
101
00:05:22,253 --> 00:05:25,762
You can't give up.
I love you.
102
00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:30,119
I love you, too.
103
00:05:30,135 --> 00:05:32,688
But I'm afraid I
love killing more.
104
00:05:32,701 --> 00:05:35,183
Like, one day, I might
actually try and kill you!
105
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,044
(shrieking)
106
00:05:38,244 --> 00:05:41,111
- And... cut.
- All right.
107
00:05:43,902 --> 00:05:45,775
All right, let's set
up for the next scene.
108
00:05:45,788 --> 00:05:48,560
Actually, you know what?
Can we do one more?
109
00:05:49,295 --> 00:05:50,862
I think I could do it better.
110
00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:52,855
Let's just move on.
No one cares.
111
00:05:52,878 --> 00:05:54,938
Well, (scoffs) I care. I mean,
look, if we're gonna do this,
112
00:05:54,944 --> 00:05:57,591
why not try and make it something
we're actually proud of?
113
00:05:57,604 --> 00:05:59,143
(clears throat)
114
00:06:00,899 --> 00:06:04,584
Look, sweetie, this movie is garbage,
but you should be happy about that,
115
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,727
'cause if it was a good
movie, you wouldn't be in it.
116
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,327
Whoa, whoa, hang on. There's
no need to insult her.
117
00:06:11,353 --> 00:06:13,274
- And who are you?
- I'm her boyfriend.
118
00:06:13,311 --> 00:06:16,817
- Isn't she too hot for you?
- A little, yeah.
119
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,830
Well, boyfriend,
get off my set.
120
00:06:18,843 --> 00:06:19,958
You can't do that.
He's with me.
121
00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:22,439
You know what? You can get off
my set, too. You're fired.
122
00:06:22,452 --> 00:06:24,485
What? You can't fire me.
I'm the star.
123
00:06:24,491 --> 00:06:27,821
I'm the girl that goes bananas.
It says so on the poster.
124
00:06:28,694 --> 00:06:31,127
Yeah, but we just shot the last
scene where we see your face.
125
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:36,015
So from now own, the star of
the movie is whoever wears this.
126
00:06:37,635 --> 00:06:41,218
Hey, if you're gonna fire her,
then you have to fire me, too.
127
00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:45,835
Wow, that fell
apart really fast.
128
00:06:51,098 --> 00:06:53,038
Thanks for skipping
the movie.
129
00:06:53,058 --> 00:06:54,604
I couldn't sit in that
theater for two hours
130
00:06:54,617 --> 00:06:56,742
wondering about Emily
and that guy.
131
00:06:56,761 --> 00:06:58,662
Oh, quite all right.
132
00:06:58,675 --> 00:07:03,550
After my forehead melanoma scare, I've
learned not to sweat the small stuff.
133
00:07:04,812 --> 00:07:09,298
Well, sorry, I don't have all the
ingredients to make chai tea.
134
00:07:09,318 --> 00:07:10,505
You don't have
to make me anything.
135
00:07:10,524 --> 00:07:13,673
No, I do. You're upset about
Emily and you're Indian.
136
00:07:13,679 --> 00:07:16,462
I need to make
you chai tea.
137
00:07:16,475 --> 00:07:21,085
Now, I have all the ingredients
except cardamom seeds.
138
00:07:21,621 --> 00:07:24,293
Do you happen to
have any on you?
139
00:07:25,318 --> 00:07:28,110
Sorry, I left them
in my turban.
140
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,757
Oh, I'll make English
breakfast tea.
141
00:07:32,770 --> 00:07:36,125
They destroyed your culture.
That's close enough.
142
00:07:38,631 --> 00:07:41,498
You know, I'm curious,
143
00:07:41,522 --> 00:07:44,862
why are you so upset about
seeing Emily with another man?
144
00:07:44,876 --> 00:07:47,285
Wouldn't you be upset if you saw
Amy out with someone else?
145
00:07:47,305 --> 00:07:48,265
Can't happen.
146
00:07:48,278 --> 00:07:50,966
We have an ironclad
relationship agreement
147
00:07:50,986 --> 00:07:55,198
which precludes her from physical
contact with anyone other than me.
148
00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:58,143
But you don't have sex
with her, either.
149
00:07:58,163 --> 00:07:58,856
(chuckles)
150
00:07:58,881 --> 00:08:00,722
Slick, huh?
151
00:08:02,163 --> 00:08:04,576
To be truthful, Emily and I
haven't dated that long,
152
00:08:04,582 --> 00:08:06,754
and we never agreed to be
exclusive to each other.
153
00:08:06,781 --> 00:08:09,224
- Have you had intercourse?
- No.
154
00:08:09,237 --> 00:08:12,744
Well, stick to your guns. There
will be a lot of pressure.
155
00:08:18,192 --> 00:08:20,813
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
I'm hungry again!
156
00:08:23,049 --> 00:08:26,218
It's like the world's
fattest cuckoo clock.
157
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,575
You know, you're always talking
about having a baby someday.
158
00:08:32,588 --> 00:08:34,955
This is exactly what
it's gonna be like.
159
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,222
No, it's not.
160
00:08:36,237 --> 00:08:40,599
Come on. The constant fussing,
eating, pooping, burping, drooling.
161
00:08:40,614 --> 00:08:44,298
We're even waiting for the day when
she can finally walk on her own.
162
00:08:45,364 --> 00:08:49,807
Maybe you're right. Anything she finds
on the floor goes right in her mouth.
163
00:08:54,815 --> 00:08:56,681
I'm just telling you now,
if we do have kids,
164
00:08:56,694 --> 00:08:58,925
don't expect me
to do all the work.
165
00:08:58,945 --> 00:09:02,476
Hey, I'm a very
paternal person.
166
00:09:02,489 --> 00:09:05,957
I'd be excellent at
taking care of a baby.
167
00:09:05,986 --> 00:09:07,913
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
I'm still hungry!
168
00:09:07,926 --> 00:09:10,352
I'm coming, you big baby!
169
00:09:15,114 --> 00:09:17,549
You know, the only thing
worse than doing a movie
170
00:09:17,562 --> 00:09:20,960
where they glue monkey hair to your
ass is getting fired from a movie
171
00:09:20,979 --> 00:09:23,829
where they glue monkey
hair to your ass.
172
00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:28,793
Forget it, man, it's crap. You
just move on to the next thing.
173
00:09:28,806 --> 00:09:32,255
Yeah, well, it's easy for you to say.
You used to be famous.
174
00:09:33,113 --> 00:09:35,693
Hey. I just lost
a job for you.
175
00:09:35,713 --> 00:09:38,114
You're right, I'm sorry,
you're famous.
176
00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:42,720
Penny, it's not about being famous.
It's about the art.
177
00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:44,874
It's about the passion
we have for our craft.
178
00:09:44,892 --> 00:09:46,197
(phone dings)
179
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,853
I have an audition
for Sharknado 2!
180
00:09:49,873 --> 00:09:53,106
If I book this, I am totally gonna
pay you back for this beer.
181
00:09:56,615 --> 00:09:59,068
God, what am I doing
with my life?
182
00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:01,104
You having second
thoughts about acting?
183
00:10:01,123 --> 00:10:03,061
You were on set, you
saw what it was like.
184
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,180
Yeah, but it's not
always that bad.
185
00:10:05,206 --> 00:10:06,580
Oh, really?
186
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,837
What about when you did, uh, Anne
Frank at that cute little theater?
187
00:10:09,856 --> 00:10:12,184
It was over a
bowling alley.
188
00:10:13,225 --> 00:10:15,145
Yeah, but...
189
00:10:15,158 --> 00:10:17,379
there was ample parking.
190
00:10:18,825 --> 00:10:19,892
Are you done?
191
00:10:19,905 --> 00:10:22,414
And you were so good
in the TV commercial.
192
00:10:22,435 --> 00:10:24,715
It was for
hemorrhoid cream.
193
00:10:25,398 --> 00:10:29,058
And I got itchy and swollen
just watching you.
194
00:10:32,505 --> 00:10:34,452
Leonard, you are really
not cheering me up.
195
00:10:34,465 --> 00:10:35,378
Come on.
196
00:10:35,404 --> 00:10:39,722
How can you be sad when you're going
home with all five-foot-six of this?
197
00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:43,876
Hmm. You think you're
five-foot-six, that's funny.
198
00:10:47,199 --> 00:10:48,766
I don't understand it.
199
00:10:48,779 --> 00:10:51,393
I'm a nice guy,
I have a great job,
200
00:10:51,406 --> 00:10:54,566
I'm well-educated,
come from a good family...
201
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,561
Why don't women
want to be with me?
202
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:57,648
(sighs)
203
00:10:57,661 --> 00:11:00,152
An interesting question.
204
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,440
Well...
205
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,155
good night.
206
00:11:05,005 --> 00:11:09,159
What? Don't send me home. I
can't be alone right now.
207
00:11:09,182 --> 00:11:10,693
That's your problem.
208
00:11:10,705 --> 00:11:13,932
- You can't be alone.
- What do you mean?
209
00:11:15,495 --> 00:11:18,315
How many women have
you had dates with?
210
00:11:19,432 --> 00:11:20,699
Eleven.
211
00:11:20,712 --> 00:11:25,204
How many of those women did you think
would become your perfect companion?
212
00:11:26,232 --> 00:11:27,548
Eleven.
213
00:11:28,281 --> 00:11:30,792
Wait. Do I count the
200-pound Sailor Moon girl
214
00:11:30,811 --> 00:11:33,980
that Howard and I had a
threesome with at Comic Con?
215
00:11:36,743 --> 00:11:38,461
Sure.
216
00:11:39,353 --> 00:11:42,656
I'll stick with 11.
She liked Howard better.
217
00:11:44,818 --> 00:11:47,411
Well, now do you
see the problem?
218
00:11:48,294 --> 00:11:50,287
Maybe. I...
219
00:11:50,307 --> 00:11:54,434
I don't know. You... It's late,
I-I should... I should go.
220
00:11:57,070 --> 00:11:58,364
(sighs)
221
00:11:58,791 --> 00:12:00,924
Look, I-I do get
what you're saying.
222
00:12:00,944 --> 00:12:04,024
Instead of desperately clinging to
any woman who will go out with me,
223
00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:06,764
I need to work on my
fear of being alone.
224
00:12:07,574 --> 00:12:11,149
I was trying to suggest
chemical castration, but...
225
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,315
...it's my bedtime, so whatever
gets you out the door. Good night.
226
00:12:21,272 --> 00:12:22,646
Howie, I'm back!
227
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:25,118
Shh-shh-shh, I just
got her to sleep.
228
00:12:25,137 --> 00:12:27,070
- Sorry.
- What took you so long?
229
00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:30,133
- The grocery store is a few blocks away.
- They only had regular yogurt.
230
00:12:30,152 --> 00:12:35,015
I had to go to a different store to get
the extra-fat kind your mom likes.
231
00:12:35,028 --> 00:12:37,171
Then why do I smell
coffee on your breath?
232
00:12:37,184 --> 00:12:39,713
So what? After two days
of taking care of her,
233
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,993
excuse me for stopping
to get a mocha.
234
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:45,898
A mocha? Well, it must
be nice to be queen.
235
00:12:46,672 --> 00:12:48,952
Queen? I've been
killing myself here!
236
00:12:48,972 --> 00:12:51,392
Well, whose fault is that? I wanted
to get a nurse, but you were all,
237
00:12:51,425 --> 00:12:55,398
(high-pitched voice): "I'm nice.
I want to take care of people."
238
00:12:56,756 --> 00:12:58,463
I'm glad I got that mocha.
239
00:12:58,472 --> 00:13:00,379
And you know what
else I'm glad about?
240
00:13:00,398 --> 00:13:04,727
I bought you a brownie
and I ate it in the car!
241
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:08,637
MRS. WOLOWITZ (moaning):
Howard!
242
00:13:09,375 --> 00:13:12,981
Thanks a lot. Now I have
to go rub her belly again.
243
00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:17,423
(knocking at door)
244
00:13:20,780 --> 00:13:21,867
Hey.
245
00:13:21,889 --> 00:13:23,609
Thanks for letting
me come over.
246
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:25,847
Of course.
Please, come in.
247
00:13:27,594 --> 00:13:31,621
I just wanted to say how sorry
I am about tonight, and...
248
00:13:31,634 --> 00:13:34,028
I want to make sure
that we're okay.
249
00:13:34,034 --> 00:13:36,950
Uh, look, you and I haven't made
any commitments to each other.
250
00:13:36,975 --> 00:13:39,888
I know. I just felt like
I needed to explain.
251
00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:41,634
The guy I was with
did my last tattoo,
252
00:13:41,647 --> 00:13:43,588
and he's been asking
me out for months.
253
00:13:43,597 --> 00:13:46,404
I finally said yes just
to get it over with.
254
00:13:46,419 --> 00:13:47,786
It's okay.
255
00:13:47,805 --> 00:13:48,966
Really?
256
00:13:48,988 --> 00:13:51,295
Well, I mean, yeah, it
freaked me out a little,
257
00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:54,574
but that's my
issue, not yours.
258
00:13:54,607 --> 00:13:56,234
Wow.
259
00:13:56,263 --> 00:13:59,710
If I saw you out with another
woman, I'd be pretty upset.
260
00:13:59,723 --> 00:14:01,573
Thank you.
261
00:14:03,369 --> 00:14:07,030
Not just for being upset, but for
believing that could happen.
262
00:14:10,114 --> 00:14:13,341
Just so you know, I'm
not seeing anyone else.
263
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,433
Well, me, neither.
264
00:14:15,462 --> 00:14:17,535
- Okay. (laughs)
- Okay.
265
00:14:17,999 --> 00:14:20,384
Please. So, uh...
266
00:14:20,409 --> 00:14:22,409
you... you have tattoos?
267
00:14:22,436 --> 00:14:24,547
- Yeah.
- I don't.
268
00:14:25,486 --> 00:14:29,457
I have a hole in my belly button that
may or may not have been a piercing.
269
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:33,117
- That's cool.
- It's a piercing.
270
00:14:34,868 --> 00:14:37,621
So, uh...
how many tattoos?
271
00:14:37,648 --> 00:14:40,541
One on my shoulder, one
not on my shoulder
272
00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:44,361
and one really not
on my shoulder.
273
00:14:46,232 --> 00:14:50,141
It's, uh... been a long time
since I've seen a girl's...
274
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:52,620
really not her shoulder.
(chuckles)
275
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,674
Well...
276
00:14:55,694 --> 00:15:00,902
how about you show me your piercing
and I show you my tattoos?
277
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,221
But, uh, before I
take my shirt off,
278
00:15:08,234 --> 00:15:11,533
I just need like ten minutes
to do some crunches.
279
00:15:17,396 --> 00:15:19,443
Oh, my God.
280
00:15:19,464 --> 00:15:21,219
What a day.
281
00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:25,067
- Can I get you anything?
- (sighs) No.
282
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,419
I need to start making
some smart decisions.
283
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:29,219
(exhales)
284
00:15:29,244 --> 00:15:32,417
- With your career?
- With my life.
285
00:15:32,437 --> 00:15:33,819
Like what?
286
00:15:34,493 --> 00:15:36,326
I don't know.
287
00:15:37,349 --> 00:15:39,123
We could get married.
288
00:15:39,451 --> 00:15:41,953
- Come on, be serious.
- I am.
289
00:15:42,595 --> 00:15:43,828
Why?
290
00:15:43,841 --> 00:15:46,470
Because I'm
a-a "smart decision"?
291
00:15:46,492 --> 00:15:48,319
Well, yeah.
292
00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:51,180
So I'm like a bran muffin.
293
00:15:52,984 --> 00:15:54,264
What... No, that's
not what I'm saying.
294
00:15:54,277 --> 00:15:55,552
No, it's exactly
what you're saying.
295
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,619
I'm the boring thing you're
choosing because I'm good for you.
296
00:15:58,646 --> 00:16:00,899
What does it matter? The
point is, I'm choosing you.
297
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:04,552
Well, it matters a lot! I don't
want to be a bran muffin.
298
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:08,268
I-I want to be a...
Cinnabon, you know?
299
00:16:09,027 --> 00:16:11,800
A strawberry Pop-Tart.
300
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:15,861
Something you're excited about even
though it could give you diabetes.
301
00:16:17,261 --> 00:16:19,248
Sweetie, you can be
any pastry you want.
302
00:16:19,268 --> 00:16:22,404
No, no. No, it's too late.
I-I'm your bran muffin.
303
00:16:22,424 --> 00:16:25,613
Probably fat-free and
good for your colon.
304
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,679
You know what? Forget it. I
never should've brought it up.
305
00:16:29,708 --> 00:16:31,614
You know I want to marry you,
306
00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:33,465
but you're only doing this
because you got fired
307
00:16:33,485 --> 00:16:35,072
and you're feeling
sorry for yourself.
308
00:16:35,091 --> 00:16:37,140
Okay, it may look that
way, but getting fired
309
00:16:37,153 --> 00:16:39,451
from that movie was the best thing
that could have happened to me, okay?
310
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:43,393
I finally realize I don't need to be
famous or have some big career to be happy.
311
00:16:43,406 --> 00:16:47,209
- Then what do you need?
- You, you stupid Pop-Tart!
312
00:16:52,809 --> 00:16:54,355
Oh.
313
00:16:55,874 --> 00:16:58,004
Then I guess I'm in.
314
00:16:59,457 --> 00:17:01,838
Really? You "guess
you're in"?
315
00:17:02,914 --> 00:17:06,874
Not like, "I guess I'm in."
Like "I guess... I'm in!"
316
00:17:08,686 --> 00:17:11,070
Okay. Cool.
317
00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:18,780
So is that it?
Are... are we engaged?
318
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,832
Yeah, I think so.
319
00:17:22,993 --> 00:17:24,585
All right.
320
00:17:26,771 --> 00:17:28,558
What's wrong?
321
00:17:28,578 --> 00:17:32,815
I'm not sure. Just... feels
a little anticlimactic.
322
00:17:34,423 --> 00:17:36,625
Yeah, it kind
of does, huh?
323
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:40,028
Oh, I know.
324
00:17:41,391 --> 00:17:43,618
This might help.
325
00:17:48,424 --> 00:17:51,403
- Where did you get a ring?
- I've...
326
00:17:52,028 --> 00:17:54,644
had it for a couple
years, not important.
327
00:17:59,108 --> 00:18:02,472
Penny... will
you marry me?
328
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,134
Oh, my God, yes.
329
00:18:05,156 --> 00:18:06,856
(laughing)
330
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:09,300
(sighs happily)
331
00:18:09,313 --> 00:18:10,993
This would have been
so much more romantic
332
00:18:11,012 --> 00:18:14,068
if you didn't have monkey
hair on your finger.
333
00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:24,788
How you feeling?
334
00:18:24,816 --> 00:18:29,003
Last night was a little rough, but I
think we're gonna get through this.
335
00:18:29,028 --> 00:18:31,904
- I'm proud of us.
- Me, too.
336
00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:34,607
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Where's my pancakes?!
337
00:18:34,626 --> 00:18:37,431
(accent):
Coming, Mrs. Wolowitz!
338
00:18:42,874 --> 00:18:45,712
- You were right.
- Welcome to Team Putz.
339
00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:51,877
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther